I’ve had a very chequered career.

Its included working in a morgue, digging holes for a living, shifting heavy things onto trucks and off them again, selling advertising space, writing press-releases, and  being a Solicitor of the Supreme Court (in America you’d call that being  a lawyer). I’ve done other stuff too.

When people behave badly I find it ridiculous and I can’t resist making fun of it.  Most people at the workplace who behave badly are bosses. Maybe that’s why I’ve been sacked from so many jobs.

I love socialising and being with people. That’s as well, because writing is a very solitary activity. If you’re having a party, invite me along, because I’m a party animal!

I’ve always been someone who liked to tell a tale and make people laugh. It was natural that my writing would develop that way. In fact, it was kind of inevitable.

I began my writing career fully intending to write serious horror novels, but time and time again I found that someone was sabotaging my best efforts to be serious in my writing.

That person was me.

I’d be in the middle of a really grim passage describing a gruesome death and I’d get a funny thought in my head and have to write it down, and suddenly the gruesome scene would take on a comedic tone.

At first I tried to resist it, but later I learnt that the best thing to do was to just go with it.

I didn’t find out the reason why I did this, until a couple of weeks ago, when a friend of mine told me he’d taken a personality test and he’d been amazed by how accurate the results were. I was intrigued, so I took the same test myself.

The result I got was that I’m an ENFP.

Want to know what that is? Here’s a link to the explanation: http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/enfp

Note the paragraph about the ‘silly switch’ that ENFP’s have which turns them into ‘Captain Wildchild’.

I guess I must have that switch!

If you want to know anything else about me, just ask!

My first dark, comedic horror novel, “Celebrity Chef Zombie apocalypse” is to be published May 28th 2016 by Kensington Gore Publishers. It’s a tale of true love, zombies, sex, cooking, cannibalism, depraved sex, and chasseur sauce.

I have a wife and two daughters who can’t be named for legal reasons.

I live in the town of Huddersfield, which is in West Yorkshire , England.

How old am I? I’m not saying. Take a wild guess.